Just a few days ago I had an exam I needed to do well on, and I got a good luck phone call from my mom and I got a good luck text from my dad. But there was one thing my dad said that really got me. He just said “Have confidence in yourself”. Now I know he was talking about having confidence in myself for the exam and not to second guess myself, but it really spoke to me personally.
My parents always told me to have confidence in myself and trust God, and honestly confidence is one thing I struggle with most. I have always second guessed decisions I have made in life either because I was scared or because I let other people unknowingly influence my decisions. This point in my life is one of those times when I doubt myself.
I have recently made a pretty big decision concerning my living situation for the next year and I am pretty excited for it. Upon making the decision I was extremely confident I made the right choice, but as things were said and questions were asked I didn’t know really if I was making the right decision and I got scared. I was scared that I was just changing things because I was running away from something or that I was just doing it because I was being super selfish and just thinking of myself. I thought this isn’t where God is really leading me and all the reassuring things I felt were of my own imagination and not God at all. So really one situation made me doubt even that I know God’s voice!
All of these thoughts swirled in my head and just multiplied in the course of a few weeks, until I realized that I’m not running away from anything and even though I’m scared I may be making the wrong decision I shouldn’t run away from this opportunity, because that’s what this change is; an opportunity to learn in a way I can’t do any other time in my life. And most importantly I do know God’s voice and He does speak to me.
Even though I came to these conclusions I was still doubtful about it all and honestly it was starting to stress me out just a smidgen especially since I still have school to worry about, but at our large group Chi Alpha meeting on Tuesday, I realized a lot of things about God. One of the biggest things I realized is that God indeed wants to take me on adventures! How cool!! God WANTS to take me on an adventure, and He truly has peace that is beyond understanding. For me having peace about any situation in my life is big! Especially since the rest of my life super stressful and draining. Especially school.
School is one of those things where I am ALWAYS stressed out. There is nothing about school that isn’t stressful. But as I was sitting in my seat Tuesday night, in a room of about 60 college students, one of the staff said God’s peace is like an escalator. Stress is walking up a flight of stairs and when you look up they seem like a never ending set of stairs. But God’s peace is an escalator, and He wants us to get on it and let Him ease our stress and take away fear and just have peace and rest in Him, and on this sweet escalator He’ll take us where we need to go; where He intends for us to go.
So that night I realized even though life is stressful and sometimes difficult to go through, God is an escalator of peace and He just wants us to find rest in Him. And even though some decisions are hard and scary to make, those are the times when God is really wanting to teach us something, we just have to trust that and have confidence in ourselves that we are making the right decision. Most importantly we just have to trust God, and one thing I have been learning is that God just wants us to take His hand and let Him lead us through this very adventurous life. Whether it’s about making living decisions or school God wants to walk through our lives WITH us. Side by side, and when we need Him to, He’ll carry us through.