Days Like Today

Today was yet another day when I was reminded just how wonderfully blessed I am!

Today it rained. Rainy days are my absolute favourite! There is something about rain that makes my heart skip a beat and makes my day so much better!! But today I also got to hang out with a few of my favourite people! I got to spend some time with a few girls who have truly impacted my life in ways I cannot begin to explain. I also got to see my family for a little bit which is always a wonderful joy!! But today I was reminded of my blessings in the form of a blog post, as well as in the form of wonderful conversations.

These past two weeks or so have been really tough for me. Not because school is starting or whatever, but because I have been challenged in ways I didn’t expect at the moment. I thought I would be a little prepared for the things that would challenge me, but I wasn’t. Or at least not in the ways I thought I would be prepared. But I realized that God has me on this super awesome, super crazy life adventure and He will give me everything I need to get through the hard times. He has blessed me tremendously with a family that loves and supports me. Who have seen me on my super awesome days, and my not so awesome days yet loves me regardless. He has also blessed me with a wonderful community who is my family away from home. A place where I can go and just be the superly awkward person I am. He has blessed me with girls who have my back and challenge me. Who listen to my incessant rambling, and still talk to me. He has also blessed me with a Saviour who loves me so much he died for me! Oh how wonderful!!

You may be wondering how a simple blog post and some conversation invoked me to think about the many blessings I have in life and I’ll tell you. Today I read a blog post about family, and I was reminded about how my families, both my real family and my Chi Alpha family, have been such a wonderful blessing to me. Especially when I feel like my life is falling apart, they have been there to smack sense in to me and to also just show me love. I also had a conversation with a couple of my close girl friends and the fact that God sent His only son to die for us came in conversation, and I realized that even when things get difficult and I feel like my life is falling apart, I still have a Saviour who loves me regardless of my circumstance!!

Its just been one of those days when I just feel so wonderful and I feel so good about how my life is at the moment. I am happy with where my journey has taken me. I am happy for the bumps and curves. I am awaiting what comes next. I am blessed with the very best. I am loved so deeply by a wonderful Saviour, and God has blessed me so tremendously and He has given me everything and everyone I need in my life. He knows me far better than I know myself, and I know this because I didn’t think I was prepared for the hard times, but I know that as long as I walk this Earth God will always provide me with what I need more than anything!

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“To Walk Justly and To Love Mercy and To Walk Humbly With Your God” Micah 6:8b

“Here we stand our hearts are Yours Not our will but Yours be done!!”

That was the cry from 4500 college students the last 3 days of 2012. Myself included. This was not one of the songs being sung while there, but this lyric sums up the cries of our hearts. The last moments of 2012 I spent with some of my dearest friends and 4477 other people learning about Gods heart and gaining Gods insight.

Before going to The World Missions Summit, my campus pastor kept saying “This conference will change your life forever!!” or “This is the best conference I have ever been to!”. I took her word for it. I believed that my heart would be changed and that I would have a wonderful time, but what I didn’t expect what came! Not at all!!

So last semester I had an encounter with God I will never forget! Last November I experienced God like never before. As I was driving on the interstate I almost got into an accident that could have been fatal. Then God had my full attention. That week I had been figuring out whether or not I was going to go back to Japan for a missions trip. I was riding the fence like I had never ridden it before! That Sunday a former missionary came and spoke at my church and his sermon asked a very simple question God asked him when he was being called into the missions field, it was “What are you willing to give up to serve me?” This question was then changed to “What are you willing to give up to serve me THE WAY I WANT TO BE SERVED??” The second question is what got me thinkin. I thought about the things I would give up if God asked me to – school, my dreams, money, a more posh lifestyle (except I’ve never really wanted a posh lifestyle so that doesn’t count for much) etc. I thought giving these things/thoughts up were enough. God had other things in mind. In the moments after my nearly fatal car accident, God had my full attention. There was nothing keeping me from paying attention to God at that moment in time. I said to God that He had my undivided attention!! But before that I wanted to call my parents. I wanted to call them and tell them I wanted them to get me, to take me home! I wanted their comfort. I wanted their arms holding me. Their words soothing me. But as I spoke to God and listened to what He had to say, I felt God telling me to go; continue on my journey. So I continued. I drove and talked and listened. As I was conversing with God a question came to mind – “What are you willing to give up to serve me the way I want to be served??” At that moment I understood what God wanted me to do – rely solely on Him. Rely on Him for comfort and joy and peace, but most of all seek only His approval. I had sought my parents approval on everything that God was telling me to stop! So I decided I am going back to Japan. This was more than a month before Summit.

Way before the most inspiring of conferences, God placed on my heart so many different things, but one thing that has always remained is my desire to help. For some time I didn’t know where I was going to help, I just knew I would. As high school came around I realized my desire to help those who were troubled, or just needed a hope and joy that can only come from God (that was senior year, because this is when I got serious about God). In college I realized what type of people I wanted to help. And now I am slowly realizing what God is calling me to do for a year, possibly more.

As I look back on my life I realize I have always felt called to missions. I see that I ran from it. I was scared. But now, I see how faithful God is and how He will always be faithful to His promises! As this school semester has begun I see how difficult it will be already. I can already feel challenged in trust, and surrender. Yet I am not entirely afraid of it. There is part of me that is scared of what I will be challenged with, but there is also part of me (the most part of me) that is excited and awaiting.

I know this life is difficult, and I know that life is a journey of its own nature. But I am realizing that God has me on the journey I am on for a reason, and He wants nothing from me but to enjoy the ride and to let Him lead me where He wants me to be led. As hard as it is for me to let go, I am glad that God ┬áhas invited me to go on this journey with Him and I’m glad I’ve accepted.