Car Problems || Grateful Days 185 & 186

20140722-224258-81778956.jpgToday I had car troubles.

Any problems that have to do with my car stress me out to no end. I end up in tears because I’m so flustered! I also then find myself thinking ‘this would be so much easier if…’ or ‘why didn’t I…’ and the thoughts go on and on until I find myself being annoyed at myself for being in the position. Which then leads to me wanting to cry more.

I’m not like this only with car problems, I get this way about any and all situations in my life that cause me to be slightly frustrated. Especially if it’s a situation where I feel helpless.

It isn’t often when I find myself feeling like a little kid lost in a large store, but when it happens it scares me. I get anxious and I feel weak. Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t like to feel weak. Even though I know in my mind that I am a weak person I don’t like feeling weak. I don’t like feeling as if  I need someone to come to my rescue; but sometimes I do.

Sometimes I need someone to come in and save me the way Superman saves Lois Lane. Sometimes I need to be a little weak if only because in moments of weakness I am humbled.

I am a fairly prideful person. I will admit that right now. Since I am a prideful human being, I often find that God comes and humbles me. Today was one of those days.

After my car decided to stop working on my way to work, in the middle of downtown Tucson, I found myself sitting in front of a building, in the middle of Summer thinking “Jesus. Jesus. Jesus”. That’s all I could think. I just thought “Jesus please give me peace. Jesus thank you for getting me to a place where  I feel safe. Jesus thank you for giving me peace and calming my heart”. In those moments I felt weak. I felt like I was going to burst in to tears every time I opened my mouth. Every time I talked to my parents as I waited I thought I was going to break like a dam. Then when I got home all I could think was “thank you Jesus for getting me home”.

Today I prayed God would use this day. I prayed He would take my heart and my mind. I have prayed that my heart and mind would be focused on Him and right before my moment of weakness I told God I’d go and do whatever He wants of me. I find myself praying that so often as a way of preparing my heart for what God is going to do with my life. I pray those prays continually because it is my desire to go and do the Lords work. It’s also a time for me to choose to surrender that part of my life. It’s my way of declaring the fact that I am weak and I need Jesus. I need my Abba.

As much as I do not enjoy moments of weakness, I am grateful for all the ways they humble me. I am grateful for all the ways moments of weakness reveal the true nature of my Father. The way I am reminded how blessed I am to be loved by a Saviour who gives me peace when all I want to do is cry and be upset. In my moments of weakness I am reminded that the hero of my story is Jesus. He comes when I call and he gives me peace when I am nervous and anxious.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

Moments || Grateful Days 172-184

AsianDramaRainOh hello there friend!

So lately I’ve been thinking about being grateful and trying to write about a years worth of it. I’ve come to realize, that there are some things that can’t be captured through photographs. Some moments of gratitude are simply meant to be enjoyed. Between interning, moving and spending time with people I’ve come to realize that some moments can’t be captured in an Instagram worthy update. Nor can they be conveyed through a witty or meaningful tweet. Some moments are meant to be etched in your memory to be revisited every once in a while.

Eating dinner with friends, spending time with my niece, parents and sisters and watching Asian dramas with roommates can’t be captured on film properly. Finding words to convey these moments is difficult as well. Whether I’m sitting in my living room watching Asian dramas with my roommates or hanging out with my family, I’ve learned that enjoying moments is important.

I realize I’m only 22, but in my 22 years I’ve come to appreciate moments spent with people. Especially since sometimes being able to spend time with people happens rarely. Whether it’s having coffee or having dinner, watching movies or television shows I love the moments I get to spend with people more and more.

These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things: June 2014 || Grateful Days 160-171

Oh boy oh boy. Between online classes, interning, birthdays and moving June was a pretty busy month (hence the lack of blog posts this month!) But over all June was a fantastic month!!! So here are a few of my favourite moments, blogs and doodads of June! RainMy first favourite of the month is a blog! So if you haven’t heard of Rend Collective then you definitely should give them a listen, or read this and you’ll hear a couple of their tunes! Anyhow, one of the guys is married to a woman who writes a blog and her name is Gabriella. I don’t remember how exactly I found her blog but I sure am glad I did. She is one of those bloggers who writes so beautifully and so full of life. I also love that she takes everything she does back to God. Even if she doesn’t outright say in a post anything about the Lord I can just feel how inspired she is for her love for the Lord and it serves as a great reminder for me that all I do is meant to please the Lord and nothing I do is for myself. So if you fancy a read you can check out her space here. It has been such a blessing to me and if you give it a read I hope it blesses you as well!Processed with VSCOcam with g3 preset Another one of my favourites from June (extending in to July) is the World Cup! Oh my goodness!! I love the World Cup so much! I am extremely invested in the whole tournament, more so I was/am extremely invested in the US Men’s National Team!! My friends and I would get together and watch the US Men’s Team play and we would stand for the National Anthem (I’m not kidding we really stood and sang!) and we would cheer! Then when we lost to Belgium we cried (I just got really emotional and tried not to cry). But I love the World Cup because it unites nations and the world! It’s also a great time for people to just hang out and get together to watch a sport!! It’s fun!!20140611-135215-49935983.jpgI also started interning in June which was so fun!! I’ve been at my internship for almost a month and I’ve learned so much! It’s been such a fun time of learning a new trade and getting real experience in the field I’ve been studying for the past 4 years!! Its been really tiring at times but its been so worth it because I’ve learned, and am continuing to learn, so much!!Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetThen of course I loved the birthdays!! Between my birthday, my dad’s birthday and my roommates birthday it has been a month full of celebration!! My birthday is the only time I’ll let people pay lots of attention to and celebrate me because well, it’s my birthday!!! I love that I have the same birthday month as my daddy because it means there are lots of birthday celebrations in one month!! I enjoyed this years month of celebrations because I’ve learned to appreciate my family and friends so much more and this year I spent my actual birthday with my friends and momma then went home and hung out with my family! It’s was great to be able to celebrate with the people in my life who I spend the most time with. I also loved being able to celebrate all the awesome ways I have been blessed with the people I have been blessed by the most. Then celebrating my daddy’s birthday was just awesome because he’s been on the earth for 50 years and it’s awesome!

All in all, June was a great month of life moments. Even though I didn’t blog a lot of it, I’ve learned that a lot of times some moments just need to be lived. No pictures, no tweets and no blogs. Some moments are best remembered by living them and I lived June in all the ways I could think. I celebrated, I cheered and I cried but June was good to me!

Family Weekend || Grateful Days 152-159

IMG_4671Nothing says summer like sitting poolside with your family eating, laughing and talking the afternoon away.

My family and I spent the weekend in Tucson, I spend every weekend in Tucson so I enjoyed a little stay-cation, in honour of my daddy’s 50th birthday!! It’s kind of crazy that my dad is 50. I never knew how old my parents were until recently, sad I know, but I always thought my parents would live forever! I thought my parents would forever be in their 30′s forever young and forever alive, but I’m coming to the sad realization that my parents aren’t going to live forever and they aren’t going to be forever 30.

50 years ago my daddy was put on this Earth. 22 years ago at the age of 27 he became a daddy. 8 months ago at the age of 49 he became a first time grandfather.

My dad has worn many hats in his 50 years of life and some of these hats he can never give back. He will forever be the baby brother of his brothers and sisters. Forever the husband to my momma. Forever the daddy to three daughters and countless nieces and nephews. Forever the grandfather to his grandkids. My dad will forever be the first love of his girls and the first man to hold me in his arms. My dad will forever be the man who hated being late to my band concerts and competitions. Forever the man who took me to school in the wee hours of the morning before I could drive myself. He will forever be the man who made me laugh with a simple glance and he will forever be the man who knew how to lay down the law. My dad will forever be the man who showed me that it’s okay for men to cry. He will forever be the man who taught me what love looks like. My dad is not a perfect man by any stretch of the imagination; but he will always be the perfect daddy for me.

To celebrate the 50 years my dad has been a member of this great big world we occupy was such a blessing! To have been part of 22 of his 50 years has been a joy and my greatest pleasure. The older I get the more I realize my parents are getting older as well.

My dad is 50. His body may not function the same way it used to but his heart, oh his heart still loves the same way. Actually, it loves better. My daddy loves my momma better now after nearly 24 years of marriage. His heart loves me better than it did when he held me for the first time 22 years ago. He loves my dear sister better after nearly 20 years of knowing her and he loves my baby sister more than he thought he could after 14 years of life. But the gal who stole his heart the most and who taught him and showed him love in a whole new light is my sweet baby niece who stole his heart only 8 month ago.

50 years ago God was kind enough to bless the world with my daddy and I am so glad he did!

Downtown Lovin’ (Grateful Days 150 & 151)

20140611-135215-49935983.jpg
I step out of the elevator into the sunlight and immediately put on my cardigan because the light breeze made me a bit chilly. I walk from the garage to my office and take note off the beautiful weather. I walk in to the office and immediately get to work. I collect papers, got organized and make my way to court.

I enjoy being able to go to court for a lot of reasons. But I think I enjoy going because I get to be outside. Even though it takes me 30 seconds to walk out the doors of my office building through the doors of the courthouse. 30 seconds is sometimes all you need.

In those 30 seconds I feel the weather on my body. Whether it’s blistering hot, a bit humid or there’s a soft breeze, I feel the weather. I feel it on my skin. I feel it on my face and in my feet.

In those 30 seconds I see the way the clouds react to what the sky is doing. I get to watch as the sun plays peek-a-boo with the world.

In those 30 seconds I walk in awe of how awesome God is to make the world as beautiful as it is. I walk past a bridge that leads to beautiful buildings and a different part of downtown and am amazed at the loveliness of the scene. A bridge leading to colourful buildings with a different set of business inquiries.

I make this 30 second walk 6 times today and each time I am struck by the beauty of downtown. I am struck by the beauty of cloud formations and the subtle change in weather. I’m amazed at the loveliness of simple structures. Even when I’m inside buildings I look out windows and am struck by the beauty of the scene laid out before me. By the way the sun and clouds reflect off the buildings and the fact that trees have never looked more beautiful.

I work downtown three days a week and I always see this beautiful building. I learned recently that when my best friend started her internship this building was the first place she went, and she said the place has a lot of history to it. I can’t remember if she said it was part of the court houses or not, but I do remember her saying it’s been there for a while. I love walking past this building quite a bit. So much so I’m not going to walk directly past it, I’ve found myself making a point of looking at it for a good while.

It takes me 30 seconds to walk from my cubicle, down the stairs, through the front doors of the building and to the elevator that will take down me to my car. In that 30 seconds I walk by buildings and I stop and look at one. In the 30 seconds it takes me to get to an elevator, I am struck by the beauty of the world around me. The green of the grass and the swaying of the trees.

Sometimes all you need in a day is 30 seconds and to see the beauty in the trees.

My Heart Sings (Grateful Day 149)

I don’t need to go on about my love for music. So instead I’ll let you in on my heart songs.

For a little while now my heart and ears have been on the same wave length. Always wanting to be ready to worship my Abba. Most times my mind isn’t wanting to be in line with the two, so more recently I have been choosing to want to be in a state of worship.

My mind is a wanderer. When I’m not doing something productive, my mind sets itself to its default mode: daydreaming. Interning has made me more aware of how little time I let my mind drift to the songs of my heart.

My heart doesn’t just sing one song, my heart sings many songs. Sometimes one after another like a CD in my mind. Other times the songs play all at once. My heart sings for love and affection and my heart sings for healing. Lately, my heart has been singing for simpler times and a deeper love and passion for my life!

Lately a couple of songs have been in my heart. Both songs are by Rend Collective. If you haven’t heard of them and you love some good ol’ Jesus music then I suggest you give them a listen. Both songs have given me a desire to live my life more in the ways I want to live it. These songs give me fresh vision of what I want my life to be like. What I want my love for Jesus to feel like! I hope these songs bless you in all the ways they have blessed me and so much more. If this isn’t your cup of tea, I hope you still listen to these songs and let them inspire you!

Simplicity

More Than Conquerors

Meet My Daddy (Grateful Days 143-148)

IMG_461722 years ago, this man became my daddy! He is such a blessing to me, my momma and my sisters. He has fought for all of us and he has loved us all. Through the ups and the downs, my dad has been the man we can all lean on! He has been my day one fella and nothing in this world can change that.

I once read somewhere that the best thing a father can do for his kids is love their mom, and my dad has loved my momma well!  My dad has loved my mom in such a beautiful way for the past 24 years and for 22 I have been part of their love. I have seen the way my daddy loves my momma and how he takes care of her. He is always ready to defend her and he is always ready to take care  of her. My dad holds my momma’s hand and gives her nice cuddles. My dad loves my mom in a way that is so wonderful to witness and so marvelous to behold.

My dad has always taught me how to fight; for myself and for others. My dad fought for my sisters and I when it was needed! He prayed for us and he loved us. When we cry he holds us, and when we need a good laugh he knows just what to say! My dad cried when I left for prom and when I graduated high school. He may be a large man, but he is a softie. He’s got a soft spot for his family and he’s always instilled in me the importance of family and he has always held true to his beliefs. My dad is a wonderful dad and a wonderful granddad. Seeing him with my niece just shows me how much this man can love. He has shown me how great his heart is and how deep his love goes in all the ways he loves.

Daddy if you ever come across this I want you to know, I love you! I am so blessed by you and I couldn’t have asked for a better dad to show me what love looks like. I couldn’t have asked for a better daddy to celebrate every years and I couldn’t have asked for a better man to hold me 22 years ago. I’m glad that 22 years ago I was the reason you got to celebrate your first fathers day (and yes I will always remind you that I was the first! :)). I hope that  one day, in the distant future, my kiddos get to experience all the love you have. I hope that one day they will be able to see how much you love and be able to experience all the love you have to give them! I also hope that one day my kids will have a father who loves them in all the ways you have loved me my whole life. A father who will fight for them so tenderly and so fiercely and that their daddy would love their momma in all the ways you have loved mine. Daddy, I am blessed by you and I feel so loved by you. I love you dearly daddy!